Mystic Dog Ears: Comedy

Showing posts with label Comedy. Show all posts

Friday, January 11, 2013

Bill Hicks - Revelations

Brilliant!

Bill Hicks Shaman! Your vision helped me to find God.

R.I.P.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Bill Hicks on Reading and Readahs

The "certain anti-intellectualism" beginning in the 80's refers to the election of Ronald Wilson Reagan which Bill Hicks also noted on another occasion, each name had six letters. 666. He then went on to assure us Reagan couldn't be the anti-christ as he was too stupid.

Also, the video has been named by the Youtube user "What Your Reading For?" Ha ha ha

Okay, that doesn't mean YOU can critique MY grammar and spelling. Deal?

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Bill Hicks - Igby's, Last Show (1993)

*

I like the last minute of this video where Bill Hicks sets the watermelon on the stool while Killing In The Name by Rage Against the Machine plays. He winds up with the mic and DOESN'T smash the melon as expected. He then gives the double salute while "Fuck you! I wont do what you tell me!" screams over the sound system. He was such a beacon of intelligent, rational thinking. The Anti-Gallagher.

Bill Hicks helped to heal our perceptions and collective unconsciousness. This show was not long before he passed away from pancreatic cancer and it appears he was in some pain during the performance. An angry show but pointed.

*Listening to the last moments on his Arizona Bay album* "There is a God. He loves us all so much"

R.I.P.

Monday, January 7, 2013

Jamie Kilstein - Vegans

Funny!

Bill Hicks - Its Just A Ride

Bill Hicks ended many performances with a mock execution. I think it was symbolic of 'being silenced' by those trying to keep us on the ride because he was one of the 'good guys' here to help us get off it.

R.I.P.

Home Land Security

[Mr. Furious, the Blue Raja, and the Shoveller are sneaking across Frankenstein's property to undertake some reconnaissance]

Mr. Furious: Shh! Wait! Hear that? We must have hit a trip-wire. It could be a proton eviscerator heating up.
The Shoveller: It could be a cybernetic atom scrambler. They target moving objects.
The Blue Raja: It sounds more like a heat-seeking anthrax projection gun to me. Quickly, cover your mouths.
Mr. Furious: No, let's bolt! Come on!
The Shoveller No! Don't move.
The Blue Raja: Don't breathe!
Mr. Furious: Let's bolt!
The Shoveller: Don't move!
The Blue Raja: Don't breathe!
Mr. Furious: Let's bolt!
The Shoveller: Don't move!

[a sprinkler system turns on and the three are soaked]

The Shoveller: [disgustedly] Ohh, it's the sprinkler.

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Why Vegan?

Bill Hicks

"Good evening brothers and sisters, friends and neighbours, vibrations of the mind of the one true God, called LOVE."

“A lot of Christians wear crosses around their necks. You think when Jesus comes back he ever wants to see a fucking cross? It's like going up to Jackie Onassis wearing a rifle pendant.”

“I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That's faith in action folks! You know he's got God on his side.”

“God help me. I'm so tired. I need my sleep. I make no bones about it. I need eight hours a day, and at least ten at night. . . .”

“Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don't know one child with a full time job and children.”

“I can speak for every guy in this room here tonight. Guys, if you could blow yourselves, ladies, you'd be in this room alone right now... watching an empty stage.”

“Why is marijuana against the law? It grows naturally upon our planet. Doesn't the idea of making nature against the law seem to you a bit . . . unnatural?”

“I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don't know, and I feel it's my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . . Enjoy your evening. See, I know that you entertain this eternal life fantasy because you've chosen not to smoke, but let me be the 1st to POP that bubble and bring you hurling back to reality . . . You're dead too.”

“One of my big fears in life is that I'm gonna die and my parents are going to come to clean out my apartment and find that porno wing I've been adding on to for years.”

She wanted kids. I had no idea her philosophy was so flawed. She goes, "Wouldn't it be nice to have a kid, to have this fresh, clean slate, innocent, and to fill it with good ides?" Yeah, yeah, how about this? If you're so fucking altruistic, why don't you leave the little clean spirit wherever it is right now?

So load your guns and prepare to do Holy Battle in the name of Jesus, the Lamb of Peace.

This is the message of Christianity: Eternal suffering awaits anyone who questions God's infinite love. Or, to paraphrase: I will make your life a living hell if you don't think like me.

“Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Heres Tom with the Weather.”

“They lie about marijuana. Tell you pot-smoking makes you unmotivated. Lie! When you're high, you can do everything you normally do just as well — you just realize that it's not worth the fucking effort. There is a difference.”

“Here is my final point...About drugs, about alcohol, about pornography...What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, or take into my body as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet? And for those who are having a little moral dilemma in your head about how to answer that question, I'll answer it for you. NONE of your fucking business. Take that to the bank, cash it, and go fucking on a vacation out of my life.”

“We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.”

“I'm glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, "My God! I love everything." Yeah, now if that isn't a hazard to our country … how are we gonna justify arms dealing when we realize that we're all one?”

“The worst kind of non-smokers are the ones that come up to you and cough. That's pretty fucking cruel isn't it? Do you go up to cripples and dance too?”

“Folks, it's time to evolve. That's why we're troubled. You know why our institutions are failing us, the church, the state, everything's failing? It's because, um – they're no longer relevant. We're supposed to keep evolving. Evolution did not end with us growing opposable thumbs. You do know that, right?”

“If you want to understand a society, take a good look at the drugs it uses. And what can this tell you about American culture? Well, look at the drugs we use. Except for pharmaceutical poison, there are essentially only two drugs that Western civilization tolerates: Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.”

“I get a kick out of being an outsider constantly. It allows me to be creative. I don't like anything in the mainstream and they don't like me.”

“This is where we are at right now, as a whole. No one is left out of the loop. We are experiencing a reality based on a thin veneer of lies and illusions. A world where greed is our God and wisdom is sin, where division is key and unity is fantasy, where the ego-driven cleverness of the mind is praised, rather than the intelligence of the heart.”

“Oh sorry, I was taking life seriously.”

“I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul”

“I can't watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.”

“...I just want to be free of the fears and anxieties and the superstitions of religion. An 'avenging GOD'? One who created Hell for those who don't believe? I thought we were the perfect and holy children of GOD? How could any limits possibly be put upon us? Hell.. really? I'm sorry, but... no. Wrong. You're wrong. That's an insane GOD and therefore not mine. Because, see, GOD would be very sane, don't you get it?”

“When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.”

“I smoke. If this bothers anyone, I suggest you look around at the world in which we live and shut your fuckin' mouth.”

“We are the facilitators of our own creative evolution.”

“I know this is not a very popular idea. You don't hear it too often any more … but it's the truth. I have taken drugs before and … I had a real good time. Sorry. Didn't murder anybody, didn't rape anybody, didn't rob anybody, didn't beat anybody, didn't lose – hmm – one fucking job, laughed my ass off, and went about my day. Sorry. Now, where's my commercial?”

If you're so pro-life, do me a favour: don't lock arms and block medical clinics. If you're so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.

And if I can take part in it by transforming my own consciousness, then someone else's, I'm happy to do it.

Your denial is beneath you, and thanks to the use of hallucinogenic drugs, I see through you.

As long as one person lives in darkness then it seems to be a responsibility to tell other people.

I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, "Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest." This guy was reaching. I figure, if he could overcome being nailed to a cross, I don't think a Marlboro Light's gonna faze him that much.

This idea of "I'm offended". Well I've got news for you. I'm offended by a lot of things too. Where do I send my list? Life is offensive. You know what I mean? Just get in touch with your outer adult. And grow up. And move on. Reasonable people don't write letters because... A: They have lives and B, they understand it's just TV. C: If they see something they don't like, something they do like might be on later. I've seen many comics I've hated. I've seen many shows that have offended me. I've never written a letter. I just go about my life.

I left in love, in laughter, and in truth, and wherever truth, love and laughter abide, I am there in spirit.

Frank Herbert's Dune

I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when my fear is gone I will turn and face fear's path, and only I will remain.

I'm dead to everyone unless I become what I may be.

He who can destroy a thing, controls a thing.

Without change something sleeps inside us, and seldom awakens. The sleeper must awaken.

Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.

The concept of progress acts as a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future.

Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife—chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now, it's complete because it's ended here."

It is shocking to find how many people do not believe they can learn, and how many more believe learning to be difficult. Muad'Dib knew that every experience carries its lesson.

"There is no escape--we pay for the violence of our ancestors."

Beyond a critical point within a finite space, freedom diminishes as numbers increase. This is as true of humans in the finite space of a planetary ecosystem as it is of gas molecules in a sealed flask. The human question is not how many can possibly survive within the system, but what kind of existence is possible for those who do survive.

Dante

The hottest places in hell are reserved for those who, in time of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.

There is no greater pain than to remember, in our present grief, past happiness.

It is necessity and not pleasure that compels us.

It is always those who are ready who suffer in delays.

Their eyes seem'd rings from whence the gems were gone.

Come, follow me, and leave the world to its babblings.

The splendors that belong unto the fame of earth are but a wind, that in the same direction lasts not long.

Heat cannot be separated from fire, or beauty from the eternal.

Still desiring, we live without hope.

Three sparks--pride, envy, and avarice--have been kindled in all hearts.

J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter

After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.

Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.

In dreams, we enter a world that's entirely our own.

It's a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up.

If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.

Numbing the pain for a while will make it worse when you finally feel it.

It is my belief... that the truth is generally preferable to lies.

Differences of habit and language are nothing at all if our aims are identical and our hearts are open.

There was no point in worrying yet.... what would come, would come... and he would have to meet it when it did.

Time is making fools of us again.

We must try not to sink beneath our anguish, Harry, but battle on.

It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew - and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents - that there was all the difference in the world.

It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.

Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?

Mystic Dog Ears

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